


The Ideal and the Real

by Denizen_of_Dreamland



Category: Persona 2, Persona 5
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Angst, Character Study, Experimental Style, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss, Past Relationship(s), Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, Post-Canon, Post-Persona 2, Present Tense, Rare Pairings, Romantic Friendship, Workplace Relationship, persona 2 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:07:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26258416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denizen_of_Dreamland/pseuds/Denizen_of_Dreamland
Summary: “Is it possible,” Jun begins, his voice barely above a whisper. “To forget the person you love?”Takuto doesn’t respond.
Relationships: Kurosu Jun/Maruki Takuto
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	The Ideal and the Real

**Author's Note:**

> I haven’t finished Eternal Punishment, but I really couldn’t wait to write this, so I’m mostly going off Innocent Sin. This is also my first Persona 2 fic, so I’m very sorry if Jun is off in any way.
> 
> This takes place in a slight AU where Jun works at Shujin.

“Is it possible,” Jun begins, his voice barely above a whisper. “To forget the person you love?”

Takuto doesn’t respond.

He watches, idly, as a duck swims across the pond, while he slips his hands into his pockets and takes a deep breath.

It’s a cold afternoon in Tokyo. Shujin Academy’s physics teacher and its counselor are standing side by side in Inokashira Park, attempting to relax after a stressful day at work. It’s something that they do every once in a while, so Takuto wasn’t surprised when, after the last bell rang, Jun peeked into the nurse’s office and asked him if he’d like to accompany him to what has become, over the course of seven months, their own private meeting spot.

How could they not fall in love with this place, after all? The atmosphere here is soothing, quiet, stagnant… As if unaffected by the passage of time, like a true paradise.

Takuto listens to the sound of leaves rustling in the wind, as he basks in the comfort he feels just by virtue of being here. It’s so peaceful that, if he could, he would stay here forever, surrounded by trees, birds, and squirrels, admiring the deep blue of the sky above, and enjoying Jun’s company without a single worry on his mind. 

Jun doesn’t press for an answer. He never does. Instead, he lets the comfortable silence settle between them, allowing it to do the talking, as it happens among lifelong friends.

Jun and Takuto have known each other for less than a year, but, from the moment they met, an invisible force drew them to one another, which caused them to grow uncharacteristically close in a short amount of time. They couldn’t control it; it was a pull, an instinct, an inexplicable sense of familiarity... Some sort of “resonance”, if you will.

Looking back, it’s no wonder why they felt drawn to one another, what with their shared core values, their affinity for the sciences, and their near obsessive insistence on ensuring other people’s happiness. Even if Jun doesn’t know all of Takuto’s secrets, and Takuto doesn’t know all about Jun’s past, Takuto has come to believe that the way they perceive the world is essentially the same.

After all, their connection goes beyond a need for words. A single gesture, an expression, or a glance speaks volumes when they’re together, because they can keep up with one another as if they could read each other’s minds.

In a different timeline, they could’ve been either the most tight-knit of allies or the fiercest of enemies, because they are, fundamentally, one in the same. And, as such, they’re the only ones who can see past their masks and recognize each other for what they are.

Jun Kashihara is an idealist, a visionary, a dreamer. Takuto Maruki is all of that, but he’s a madman as well. Jun Kurosu would understand what a dangerous combination that is, if he were here.

The breeze flutters through Takuto’s hair and tickles his neck, sending a chill down his spine. Is it just his imagination or is it strangely cold today? He wraps his arms around himself for warmth, as he snuggles into his coat.

“I believe so.” He says, at last. He doesn’t know how long it’s been since Jun made the question; seconds, hours, or centuries could’ve passed, but he wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. “It's definitely a possibility.”

They don’t look at each other, not even when they speak. It’s nothing new; they haven’t been able to look each other in the eye all day long, too afraid to face the truth.

They keep their eyes settled on the pond, watching the patterns that the sunlight paints across the waves. They’re alluring, hypnotic, strangely artistic. Being here feels like being trapped inside a living, breathing work of art, but with no desire to get out.

A few leaves fall from above and land gracefully on the water. Takuto’s gaze follows their trail towards the trees, which are draped in gorgeous red, orange and yellow hues, as a reminder that it’s autumn, that it’s no longer summer, and that, soon, it will be winter.

The sight makes him keenly aware of the passage of time, of how the clock always keeps ticking away without waiting for anyone. And, as autumn continues to slip away, leaves will continue to fall, flowers will slowly wither, and treasured memories will be swept away by the soft autumn breeze, never to be found again...

The beauty of this season will fade, leaving only death and decay in its wake.

Takuto sighs. In this reality, nothing lasts forever. This world offers people a taste of happiness, only to rip it away from them once they’re unable to fight back, no matter how hard they try or how frantically they wish to hold onto their last shred of hope. People are defenseless against the weavings of their cruel destiny, which tears them away from their loved ones, strips them of their reason to live, and crushes any chance they have of recovering the life they had worked so hard for. It’s simply unfair. And most people can’t do anything about it.

“But, perhaps,” Takuto continues, tightening his grip around himself. “Depending on the circumstances, it might be better to forget.”

Jun presses his lips into a thin line. He mulls over the idea, playing with it in his mind, toying with it, turning it over and desperately trying to remember why he should be opposing it, but getting nowhere. He knows that what Takuto is trying to say is that people should forget their pain and sorrow and spend their days in blissful ignorance, leaving all of their troubles behind. His greatest dream, of which only Jun knows as of now, is to give everyone the opportunity to live in a happy world cleansed of evil, pain, or any kind of suffering. An impossible utopia.

Attempting to create such a world can only lead to disaster. But, in this reality, Jun hasn’t faced enough trials and made enough errors, so he’s unable to see the flaws in Takuto’s reasoning. He simply nods.

They still don’t look at each other. There’s tension in the air, unspoken words on their lips, a concern that’s waiting to be voiced. And, though they both know what it is that’s hanging between them, neither of them want to bring it up and sour the mood even further.

Today is November eighteenth. That, of course, means a lot of things.

It means that Takuto’s paper is finally completed.

It means that there’s little over a month left for Christmas Day.

More importantly, it means that Takuto’s gig at Shujin is officially over. That, tomorrow, Jun will wake up, commute to work, and walk down the hallways of the school, and everything will be the same as always, except that Takuto won’t be there.

In the morning, he will swing by the nurse’s office with a gentle smile, only to realize that there’s no one to say hi to. During lunch break, he’ll sit by himself in the faculty room waiting for someone who will never show up, and maybe Kawakami will take pity on him and pull up a chair to sit next to him. In the afternoon, he’ll hesitate when stepping out of the school, feeling like something’s wrong, but then he’ll just have to swallow it and walk home alone.

Tomorrow, Shujin will be missing a counselor. Jun will be missing a friend.

// little does he know he’s been missing four of them for seventeen years //

Similarly, Takuto will pour all of his efforts into bringing attention to his completed paper, using it to help the people around him, and trying to make his dream come true by any means necessary. He won’t leave any time in his schedule for leisure or relationships, because he’s convinced himself that the the only thing that matters to him is his research -- except, that’s not true anymore, now that Jun has eased his way into Takuto’s heart, with his warm smile, his caring disposition, and the fatherly concern that he feels towards his students, even if he doesn’t express it much outwardly.

Without Jun, Takuto will fall back into the isolation he had become so familiar with before coming to Shujin, and no one will care enough to break him out of his self-destructive habits. Because, from today onwards, no one will be there to invite him to go stargazing just to ensure that he gets a much needed break from working on cognitive psience. No one will be there to remind him to stop every once in a while and enjoy the little things in life, like flowers, books, and delicious food… And he won’t have to cook for two anymore, because no one will be there to share his lunch with him. He’ll be lucky if he finds the will to cook for himself.

Takuto’s eyes follow a couple on a boat as they row across the pond, giggling at a joke that no other person would understand. He wonders, briefly, if Jun will forget him once he’s gone.

He pushes the thought away in fear of unearthing the excruciating pain he’s kept buried during all these years, telling himself that no good can come out of dwelling on what ifs.

“Why the sudden question?” Takuto asks, glancing towards Jun, careful to keep any telling emotions out of his face.

Jun doesn’t return the gesture. His expression remains unreadable, his body motionless, and his tone impassive. “I’ve been having strange dreams as of late… that’s all.”

They fall into silence once again, which allows them to hear the distant sound of children shouting, laughing, and playing in the park. Jun thinks of their innocence, and of how they will become the adults tasked with keeping this world safe in the near future. Takuto thinks of the pain they’ll have to endure when they inevitably grow up and this unforgiving reality slaps them across the face.

They remain where they are, standing side-by-side in silence, frozen in time, as their facades crumble to reveal two broken souls seeking solace in companionship; Takuto, who’s yearning for someone who has forgotten him, and Jun, who’s yearning for someone who he has forgotten.

It’s not noticeable to any onlookers, but they’re grieving -- mourning the life they could’ve had.

In the eyes of the world, they are simply coworkers winding down after work.

In the eyes of other Persona-users, they are powerful foes, two well-intentioned but misguided extremists who needed (or will need) to be brought back to their senses for the sake of the world they live in.

But, deep down, they are merely two people who’ve been thrust into hell and have had to pick themselves up, who’ve done everything to fight against the unfair workings of fate, who have been unjustly deprived of the person they loved above all else, of the one who truly made them feel complete. And, as a result of all their hardships, their greatest wish is to ensure that no one else has to go through the same pain they’ve endured during all those years.

Sure, Jun might not remember the pain that twisted his mind to the point of insanity, but Takuto wouldn’t have it any other way.

Takuto’s hand wanders away from him aimlessly. It’s an automatic gesture; something that was second nature to him once upon a time, and, now, it’s simply something that he misses and that he can’t quite put into words. It’s as if he’s been in this situation before, and his body knows what to do, but his mind has archived that information, believing that it wouldn’t be of use anymore.

Takuto’s not sure of what he’s hoping to find, but he almost feels as if he could find a way to erase the past and to recover that which he lost, only by reaching out and grasping the future that was stolen from him a long time ago.

Takuto’s hand meets Jun’s hand, which has also wandered aimlessly for no particular reason.

They softly pat each other, in recognition. Then, their fingers loosely interlace, as if they knew, by instinct, that this is the next step, that this is what they need to heal, as if they could fill the void in their hearts with each other’s warmth, and as if, just for a moment, they could pretend that Jun is the one who Takuto wants and Takuto is the one who Jun needs.

The two men keep their eyes settled on the pond. The group of children keep laughing in the distance, oblivious to the exchange going on between the two adults. Jun hopes that, someday, Takuto will move past his grief and be able to feel that same sort of pure happiness again, like he did back when he was young, innocent, and ready to take on the world.

Takuto squeezes Jun’s hand. It’s, simultaneously, an offer of peace, a pretense of strength, and a promise; a promise to create a world where everyone’s wishes can come true, and where everyone can live happily without having to offer anyone else as sacrifice. He promises to bring those dreams to fruition, if only for the sake of protecting the normal life that Jun once fought so hard for.

He doesn’t realize that Jun gave up the most precious thing he had for _this_ reality, the one that Takuto now wants to overwrite so much.

“I can help you with that, if you wish.” Takuto says, a soft smile gracing his lips.

Meanwhile, the clock keeps ticking, the city keeps bustling, petals continue to fall...

And the month of December rolls by.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven’t seen anyone draw parallels between Jun and Maruki, whether that’s in fic or in fanart, and I think that’s unacceptable! If any of you guys have seen anything, please tell me. I know I’m not the only one who sees the similarities, so there HAS to be some content out there, even if it’s not shippy, right?
> 
> Oh, and do let me know your thoughts on this fic. I rewrote it an abnormal amount of times, but I think I’m finally satisfied with the end result. As the tags say, it was experimental, and I don’t usually write like this, using so many descriptions, flowery language, and all that, so I’d love to know how it came across!
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://denizen-of-dreamland.tumblr.com)


End file.
